Solitude

I'm starting to feel better, so I may be back to more regular blogging (though I'm travelling next week, and I don't think I'm likely to blog then -- my planned activities aren't very retirement relevant).  Today was also Mr.  R-T's first full day back at work (he was hit hard by the illness; we now think he had two separate illnesses back to back).  I really noticed the difference in being retired 'with a companion' vs. 'on my own'.  It's not like we were spending all our hours in cozy communication (otherwise known as 'sharing our germs'); it was more like the parallel-play of two people in different rooms in the same house.  But there is a big difference between being in a house alone and with someone else, even if the other person is not dependent on you.

I am someone who values my solitude.  I equally value time I spend with friends, but I need a minimum amount of solitude or things that would otherwise just roll off my back start to bug me.  On weekends where we get overbooked with social engagements, I am clawing the walls towards the end. I've definitely been looking forward to the idea that retirement == more solitude. Today gave me a hint of that reality, and it was good.

Being alone lets me focus on what I'm doing in the moment (sometimes that's not a good thing, when I look up and see how much time has passed), without worrying that someone will want lunch or suggest a distraction (living with someone who is a bit hypoglycemic means saying "I'll be ready for lunch in a hour or so" is not a viable response).   It lets me wander among my thoughts.  I went for a hike today (alone), and I came up with several ideas for blog posts, when that well had been dry for a few days.  Sometimes I'm enough within myself that I hardly notice my surroundings, sometimes being alone is a chance to really attend to those surroundings without any other things distracting me.

It's pretty likely that I'm going to be alone a significant part of my day, at least until Mr. R-T retires.  Right now, this seems so luxurious, I'm almost reluctant to find things that will break up the day's aloneness.  But while I need solitude, I really enjoy time with friends, so I'm guessing I'll find a way to balance those halves of me.

I suspect that someone for whom solitude is not something to look forward to, it would be important to have activities/connections that would bring other people into your life every day, and it would be important to plan for at least some of those activities before retiring.